Patience is a virtue...I'm just trying to find it!

With all the support and prayers, I have been able to keep my mind thinking positive. That's always been the case for me living in my home. I am so grateful for a family who depends on God and each other to get through things. I know that's why we are strong in everything we go through. However, today was a little tough for me. I don't like being vulnerable in front of people, but I guess that's why I am writing this blog...

It started off last night when I had to make the decision whether or not to go back to school. I really do want to see my friends, but I really didn't want to answer all the questions. I would have only been able to go for two hours any way because I had an orthopedic appointment for my wrist. So, I decided not to. Sometimes, I just don't have a great patience with people--I think I get that from my mom :)

So, I headed off to my Dr's appointment with my mom. When we arrived, we had to take an elevator up to the floor. Once inside the elevator, a lady happened to be in there as well. As soon as she saw me, she said, "I can't imagine what the other guy looks like!" Oh my! My mom simply said, "Actually, he's fine."

You would have thought because of the awkward silence after that the lady would have just stopped at that. But, she continued with, “Oh, is it from a dog bite?”

Any patience I did have, the virtue that I’m trying to find in my life, left me! I just stayed quiet while my mom did the talking. My mom said bluntly, “She was in a car accident.” And did the lady stop then? Nope, she topped it off with, “Oh, I’m sorry. Well, at least she’s alive!”

Yes, I am grateful for my life! Thank you. But, you know what? I am standing right beside you. I can hear you talk to my mom as if I am not in the elevator standing right here. Lol! I wish I could say that was the extent of my patience stretching for the day, but nope! It kept going.

While waiting on the Doctor to come in and see me, another nurse or resident looked at my arm. They moved it around a little and asked about the soreness. They told me that it seemed good and I should only get a brace for a few weeks to keep it stable. I had a sigh of relief for a moment because having a cast is annoying—believe me—I have had one before in the same place!

Once the actual Dr came in, she looked at my mom (who is in a wheelchair if you didn’t know) and said, “What’s your deal??” I was like, seriously! I could tell my mom was frustrated at this point. But, she answered politely and told the Doctor that she was born with a birth defect. The doctor replied with, "So, it wasn't from the same accident? Ok, cool." The doctor then looked at my x-ray and said, “well, here is the break right here. I don’t know how they missed it. We’ll put a cast on for four weeks and you should be good."

Seriously! I was not too happy at this point, especially with the resident saying I wouldn't need a cast. At this point, I just had to think positive and be grateful that it was a short cast and not a long one.

In the short 3 minutes that the Doctor was in there with us, she ends with, "It looks like your wrist is the least of your worries.”

Wow, my patience was being tested for sure. I have been pretty much pampered for a week now with visitors, gifts, favorite meals, candy and FAITH! And as soon as I hit the public, the questions and comments start pouring in. I know that it’s inevitable—my face and eye look different. But, if they can only see the end result rather than what’s in front of them, then maybe people wouldn’t be so negative in the moment. I don’t even want to mention the rest she said about my eye. It involved a “no-big-deal attitude” with stories of a boy who takes out his fake eyeball and plays with it in his cheerios during breakfast. And then ended with, “Good luck with the eye.”

Wow. UGH! I wanted to yell at this lady and lay my hands on her to receive some faith! I know we have to go through things to have our character grow, but today was a tough one. It was hard for me to not get upset and start crying—that’s what I usually do when I am mad or frustrated. But, I just had to bite my tongue. My faith is what keeps me strong. I am so thankful for those around me who speak positive, who have faith in God and His word.

I guess what I want to encourage you with today is be someone’s hope—not doubt. No one needs people around them that make them feel worse. People need hope. People need faith. People need to know that God is bigger than their situation. It takes faith and patience. And although I know I’m not where I need to be with my patience, God is going to help me through. If you see me tomorrow, or the next day, don’t feed your doubt with “what ifs” or “how awful”. Feed my faith with, “We believe, Grace! God is still a miracle working God. Don’t give up! God is able! God’s word is alive and active in you Grace!” That’s what people want to hear when their life depends on a miracle.

Romans 8:24-30

24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all.Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.